today is sunday. ytd was saturday. the day before was friday.

my pri sch hao peng you nt online.
my tiny good sec sch good buddy is in UK, n i feel bad msning her all the times, coz i tink she got her own things to do.
my sec sch good buddies in nus are having exams, so it's reali nt wise to disturb them abt my issues.
my jc buddies r not online now, n i dun feel like smsing to disturb them juz to talk to me.
my ntu inner self online but set away, n dun feel like disturbing her now. coz i tink she watchin tv or juz busy doing sth.

haiz. sien.

anyway, as said earlier, todae is sunday, but i'm feeling gloomy.

softball is fun. among all sports, alth it may seem a lil slow, a lil dangerous for noobs like me coz scare kena wack balls. yeah. i fear balls. coz i knoe it hurts terribly. somehow alth i sometimes grumble tt i hate to b wack by balls. but i seem to fall in love a lil bit by bit gradually. esp tt de captain, aka my ogl, jo, is very patient n nice la! serious manz, since FOC. lolz.
so actualli, i'm realli trying hard, or mayb nt hard enuff, to play well, so tt i can rep hall to play for HO/IHG. but tis 'dream' seems a lil impossible oso leh. coz i'm nt improving much. n HO is like, realli drawing nearer. so i tink i most likely no chance to play oso la. hais.

n now dec le. means results releasing soon ba. n i reali worry somehow. esp for marketing. hais. n i dun wan dabao ANY! n oso i tink 14 dec is my registration date, n dat day nid register elective i tink, n i'm overseas, unable to do anithing. i'm lost. n i duno wad elective to take la! coz the HSS elective lect seem to clash with biz law lect la!

n tt oso bcoz of my holidays trip, i hafa giv my cca a miss on 13 dec. n i knoe publicity comm sure got 1 more HO banner to paint, n i duno when they painting oso la. n i tink it will clash with my holiday trip again, will zhao b displeased? i duno. too many clashes. not within my initial 'calculabilities' . i dun like ambiguities. but i like surprises, not shocks!

yeah yeah. i know. we juz can't expect everything to go smoothly. i was too greedy. fine. i know. nvm abt mi. i'm juz ranting. rAHHHHHhhhh.

n the one i always tot knoes mi well, actuali dun knoe mi tt well. a lil upset la. but suan le. i juz cant expect too much.

oh. one last issue. i tink i reali grew too fat manz! yeah i was happi coz i lost 2kg in 3mths in hall living. but i moved back home to mug for exams for 3wks, i gained the 2kg back. sad rite. expected. but i juz love food too much. my fault. n i tink i nid to lose abt 5kg tis holis.
it's nt juz abt looking better, feeling good n gain more self-confidence, but it's a road to my 'dream'-a very bleak dream, can't rmb i told who n who knows either.

anw, tis yr xmas is quite impt to me. it seems like a turning pt in my life. is either i get it, or i dun get it. n of coz , the middleperson is the most crucial component. no middleperson, no turning pt. so i'm reserving tis very special day n the whole particular wk for tt very issue. i hope the middleperson realises her importance, but i doubt so. LOL.

o i went church today with carmel. hm, duno y, it juz feel different. duno how to describe de feeling either.

haiz. now i'm like so freaking bored at nite! i hate wkend nights to be meaninglessly spent! n tml is monday, gonna hav mon blues even no lessons!

n great. my frens in nus r ending exams on tis coming wed. how much i miss them!

hav a bad feeling tt i may b unable to meet up with frens for gathering after my holis trip. coz gonna b busy like tt na. i duno wit wad too. preparing for sch start? cleaning up hall rm? abit of IHG/HO?

i hate weekends nights!

feeling so gloomy now!