people dun believe tt i'm alwaes feeling down? alwaes sad? tts bcoz i chose to switch to different modes.. oni knoe tt..since i 懂事 till now..i've nvv nv nv nv realli happi b4... am i tt hard to satisfied? i alwaes tot tt i'm easily contented... but m i? sometimes i dun understand myself..while sometimes i knoe myself so well till i ownsf oso sian diaoz...
i'm not happi everydae..including todae.. is my inner self filled wit melancholy alone?
hurt by ur favourite one... n my fren juz gave me an example when i was in the library todae.. he told me tis... " it's juz like playing bball.. u knoe the ball isnt meant to be thrown to u.. u tried to snatch it when it was in the air.. but if u missed ur footing... ur butt end up on the ground.. n u urself ll b weeping... or sumtimes.. when even u didnt realise it.. the ball was coming str at u.. n it juz wack into u.. u'll feel the pain... at tis moment..u juz got hit by ur favourite sport... favourite one.." well..does tis signify sth? telling me tt i shld stop somehow? but well.. it doesnt realli matter somehow.. bcoz i've been hit by alot alot times.. since the day i took a liking to tis sport..since the day i knoe him.. i knew things will go tis way.... n not in the way every1 wants it to be.. but does it make sense to compare it with bball? fair enuff?
actualli wanted to stay in lib till my mum call n nag at me.. but.. simply..no mood.. somemore.. lynn kel n sueping was listening to a mini math lecture conducted by keane.. n i was simply nt in the mood to study for it.. total siannness.. plus..the theory of being hurt by favourite one..i even more siann..so i left the je lib at 5pm... haiz...neither do i wanna tell lynn tt i was in a depression mode... dun wan disturb them... leaving the place is the place... n i took a cab home to avoid going to the jE mrt ctrl station.... haiz...

i'm sorry i'm a loser i'm a fool